Before we moved down to our new house in Florida, I knew I wanted to paint right away. The colors that were painted in the house were more dark and earth tones. Those of you that know me, know that dark earth tone colors are just not me! After all, I drive a mint colored car! I started looking at paint colors and the color “Glimmer” kept catching my eye. It is a mix of a very light blueish-teal. I thought that maybe it was too generic, but after painting a bedroom in “Glimmer” and loving it, the laundry room has now been painted in “Glimmer” too. The name of the paint has stuck with me. It’s one of the only paint colors I can remember that we painted. I really feel like the word “glimmer” is now my word for the year.
You see, I have been praying for a glimmer of hope each day. Just one teeny tiny little glimmer of hope and goodness for each of my kids, for me, for the new life we are creating here in Florida. I would love to sit and blog about how awesome and amazing we are all doing and how perfectly the transition has been, but that would be a lie. We are processing the move here differently. Some have adjusted well. Some are giving Florida a good fighting chance. And some are still in denial that this is our new reality. However, this week is the first week I feel like I saw a glimmer of hope for each of us. I didn’t say it was a huge glimmer, but I’ll take what I can get! I wanted to share some of our “glimmers” with you all so you know that we are gonna be ok!
A glimmer of hope….Molly is back to playing Volleyball. She played VB her freshman year at LCL and then last year she decided to join swimming. She was so torn this year and decided to try out for the VB team. She has earned one of the setting positions and man, it’s so good to see her back on the court again! The kids are going to a much smaller high school than what LCL was (and LCL is considered a small school, but think even smaller….like way smaller) and she wasn’t sure what the VB team might look like. Well, after watching 2 games this week, this team has got some talent! I was blown away at just how good they are and my heart was so full watching Molly jump right in to a sport. Molly has a very outgoing personality and while she can be shy at first, I have really started to see her open up this past week. That doesn’t mean she isn’t still trying to find her way, but it’s a glimmer of hope for this mamma!
A glimmer of hope…Our sweet little Lanie is in 4th grade. She looks adorable in her uniform by the way. When we left Wisconsin she was trying to master a back hand spring in gymnastics. Shortly after we moved here I found a gym for her to take lessons. Well, this past week, Lanie conquered that back hand spring!! The smile on her face lit up the entire gym after she landed and again, my mamma heart was full. I remember taking a deep breath and thinking “ok Susan, another step forward.”
A small glimmer of hope…On Wednesday night I took the kids to youth group for the Fall Kick Off. If you had the privilege of having Bryan Roe as the youth Pastor in Wisconsin, then you’ll understand. If you haven’t had the gift of having Bryan Roe as a youth Pastor in your child’s life, then I pray you would find someone that has a passion and a fire for teaching the youth generation just as much as Pastor Bryan does. Anyways, I am pretty sure his message was aimed at our family. New Roads lead to New Beginnings. God doesn’t promise that our road or journey is going to be easy, but He does promise to be with us each step of the way. We can only see a small spec of what He is doing in our life at any given moment, but we will never get to see or be able to comprehend all He is doing to orchestrate His perfect plan in our lives. Sometimes, ok, all the time I desperately beg Him to show me more of His plan and I am definitely a work in progress trying to keep handing the struggles of life over to Him. Watching your kids worship, being able to worship with your kids and having them involved in a youth ministry that preaches the Gospel makes every part of this hard move worth it. I listened to Lanie and Griffin sing at the top of their lungs in worship and spent one song holding my sweet Kenadie in an embrace that I will never forget.
A small glimmer of hope…My sweet Sadie has struggled with the move more than anyone. I want to respect her privacy, but watching her struggle has been one of the hardest things that I have ever had to do as a mom. When do I step in? When do I push her? When do I let her learn on her own? There is no text book on how to move your child away from friends she loves dearly and away from a high school she adored. Sadie has also been struggling with intense toe pain since the end of her soccer season in Wisconsin. After months of appts and referrals, we had an MRI and got the results. She has a very small tear in the tendon of her toe which is causing her an enormous amount of pain. So my daughter that lives and breathes soccer and cross country has been benched for the season. On top of moving away from everything and everyone she loved, now she is out of the sports she loves. While we are working through that together with her, I have seen her take some big steps this week in acceptance of her current sucky life situation. Her cross country coach gave her an out. She told her she didn’t have to go to practice or the meets. Sadie decided to stay at all the practices and help with timing and is going to the meet tomorrow to cheer on her team. While this seems like something normal to do in any regular situation, we are in a very hard season of coping and the fact that Sadie is willing to try has given me just the smallest glimmer of hope that she might just be trying to figure out how to do life here while missing her friends and school back home. This smile rarely comes out at school as she is still trying to find her place there…but I know once those kids get to know the real Sadie and her teachers see how dedicated and driven she is, she will find her way. She is a lot like me. I know for a fact that I would be handling this current move the exact way she is when I was her age. You got this Sads.
A small glimmer of hope……or not so much. You know, just another spider caught under a glass waiting for Dan to get home from work to kill. The bug people will be back tomorrow morning at 8:00 a.m. Sorry spider lovers, but they have GOT to go.
There have been so many other glimmers of hope…
~Our foster care license has been sent to the state.
~We get to go to Disney all the time. I might become one of those freaky Disney lovers
~My brother Brian texts me on a regular basis. He has a way of always bringing a smile to my face when he texts me.
~My nephew, Christian, is coming to visit TOMORROW!!!
~I still get to talk to my dear friends on the phone when we can catch each other. I have had multiple conversations from dear friends this week encouraging me, pouring into me and listening to me cry.
~Abbie, my shy, quiet, antisocial freshman has been added to group texts and I believe might actually be saying one or two words to other kids. (insert mouth wide open here!)
~Gavin started flag football yesterday. He played tackle football last year and I was thankful the coach hardly put my baby boy in. I’m good with flag football for this season!
~Griffs has handled school like a champ. They teach reading differently down here and that boy has downloaded apps and watched YouTube videos every night this week to get caught up. He’s 7. And he’s adorable.
~Switching to a new school means new ways of teaching and doing things. My kids are behind in some areas and ahead in some. The teachers at Redeemer have been awesome with them. Offering them grace and help as they learn the new way of doing school here.
~I am pretty sure I like my job. Starting a job is never easy especially when you don’t know anyone. I am enjoying getting to know the administrative staff as well as the teachers and other staff. I know we left behind awesome and amazing teachers that we miss so much, but I’m pretty sure these teachers are just as awesome and amazing! I have enjoyed being at the school where the kids are and getting to know the people I get to work worth. I love having my weekends off to be with the family and I can’t wait to get more involved with the school as both a parent and as a staff member!
~We were invited over to someone’s house last weekend. We may never be invited back, but we will take what we can get!!
I could go on and on with just the tiniest things that are daily giving me a glimmer of hope. Although sometimes a small glimmer of hope can easily be crushed by a hard day, a sad child or an aching heart that misses Wisconsin. I am not saying we are living the dream down here and that everything is good…but what I am saying is that this week I have found Hope in the Lord. Where does your Hope rest?